Some Advice on Motivation

Motivation can be a struggle on a good day, let alone living under quarantine. It’s OK not to feel motivated right now but there are ways to help you find your motivation again.

Picture this: you had a long day at home, doing paperwork, jumping on Zoom calls, trying to school your kids, managing your finances, cleaning the house, and, before you know it, it’s time for your at-home workout. Or maybe it’s time to prepare that new dinner recipe you had planned on making. (Maybe this WAS your day and you don’t have to try to picture it at all!) After a mentally & physically exhausting day, you just don’t feel like doing any of it. You want to throw in some Easy Mac and relax and watch Tiger King. We’ve all been there, and we’ve all felt ashamed for feeling this way.

We feel pressured to get certain things accomplished, to learn something new, to get on those home workouts because suddenly we supposedly “have nothing but time.” But time isn’t all we have. Time is still a finite resource and on top of that we still have responsibilities and stress and the emotionally taxing task of processing what is happening to us as a society under quarantine.

And yet, a quick scroll through your social media feed will turn up some message that if you don’t learn a new skill, start a new side hustle, or pick up a new hobby at this time, then you are somehow inferior and lazy. This mentality not only ignores the reality before us, it’s also harmful to our mental , emotional, and physical health. No one—and I mean NO ONE—is always motivated and that is OK and it is NORMAL.

So first and foremost, as the article linked above explains, we are processing a lot of big emotions right now, so be gentle with yourself and take what you need at this time. Instead of feeling down on yourself, please remember that not being motivated is okay. Likewise, feeling overly motivated is OK, too. We all process these things differently. Before anything else, you need to listen to your intuition and follow what feels right for you here and now.

If you do feel that you are ready to get moving on some goals now, there are things that you can do to get you started.

4 Ways to Find Motivation

  1. Reevaluate your goals 

If motivation has been a long-time struggle for you, it may be a good time to reevaluate your goals. Make sure you have solid goals, and, if not, change them. But how do I know if my goals are “solid”? Ask yourself the following questions: Is this goal feasible for me to accomplish? How will I know I have accomplished it? Does this goal still resonate with me? What will accomplishing this goal do for me/for my life?

  1. Ask yourself if you are happy with the way you are tackling your goals.

I often remind my clients to take into account their personal preference when it comes to working towards goals. If you don’t enjoy the process, you won’t adhere to it. I take a more agnostic approach to diet and exercise, because the best option is the one you’ll do. You do not exist simply to suffer now in order to be happy later. Choose a form of exercise that you enjoy enough that you don’t dread doing it every day.  Cook recipes that you find tasty as well as healthy. Allow yourself treats from time to time. Whatever you choose, it has to work for you or it won’t work at all.

  1. Look back at how far you have come and celebrate the goals you have already smashed.

We all love to look at how far we have yet to go to reach our goals, but how often do you look back at what you have already accomplished? Don’t be afraid to give yourself a pat on the back. You are doing amazing! Recognize that. When you feel good about what you are doing, you are more likely to see it through.  No matter what stage of change you are in, there’s always something positive to look back upon. If you are still at the very start of changing your lifestyle habits, realize that coming to that decision to make change is often the hardest part for people – so that’s a huge accomplishment in itself! Focus on working towards small goals and build on them over time. Then you can look back and remember that you never used to take time for self care. Or you never used to drink enough water. Or you just started enjoying veggies with every meal. Those are all HUGE wins to celebrate! Don’t deny yourself these victories.

  1. Remember the definitive reason “why” you started

Perhaps most importantly, remember your big “why”. If you don’t already have a definitive “why”, take some time to determine yours. Your “why” should be the deepest and most important reason for changing your habits. It goes beyond things like getting abs or fitting into an old outfit.  It must be specific and have an end result that is meaningful to you. Ask yourself why you want to accomplish your goal? Why does it matter? What impact will accomplishing that goal have on your life? Why is that impact important to you?

Understand that your definitive why should be specific to you. Some examples of powerful whys include: “I want to begin exercising and eating healthier so I can keep up with my kids”, “I want to improve my eating habits so I can help my daughter develop a healthier relationship with food than I had”, or “I’m tired of the way my chronic pain has impeded my daily life and I want to change that.”

When it comes down to it, motivation is a deeply personal force and it requires a lot of introspection to develop it. It also is important to recognize where it’s coming from and why it’s not happening. Listen to your inner voice to do what is best for you.